For those of you that don't know, FARK.com (http://www.fark.com) is an offbeat news website that features news stories contributed and commented on by it's readers. Contributers write thier own headlines, and the submitter with the best headline gets his link posted.
Here are some candidates for this year's "Headline of the Year":
NEWS HEADLINES
Woman gives birth going up in an elevator. This would never have happened if she had gone down
Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down
Inventor of the teleprompter dies. President Obama said to be at a "loss for words"
Woman hit and killed by monster truck. Funeral will be held on Sunday Sunday SUNDAY
Teen tries to feed shark, succeeds
Three people shot near Target. They probably should have stood farther away
Four guys rob Five Guys; turns out three of the four guys worked at Five Guys and now each need one guy to convince twelve other guys not to lock them up with 500 other guys
Cumming man shoots woman in face and neck
Dog helps rape victim. Ehh, I might have worded that wrong
Tornado Watch issued for the Indianapolis region. Citizens are urged to seek shelter in Lucas Oil Stadium, where there is no chance of a touchdown
Man wakes up with pants on fire, although police doubt his story
Ghaddafi's son slipped into Niger last weekend, says he'll never go back
ENTERTAINMENT:
Letterman's guests on Thursday are Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. Program to be simulcast on Court TV
Bruce Willis to sell New York apartment at a loss. Yippie-ki-yay, market failure
Bewitched' creator Sol Saks dies at 100. Actually he died at 82, but was replaced by another guy and nobody said a word
Christina Aguilera divorces Bratman, much to the delight of the Jroker
Yoko Ono threatens to sue Scottish pub named in honor of John Lennon. Perhaps if they named a shot after him it would be okay
Answer: Alex Trebek snapped his Achilles tendon while trying to open this object on a fleeing burglar. Question: What is a can of whoopass?
Mellencamp wife gets divorce, changes to cougar
Rosie O'Donnell talks about her split. GOOD GOD, NO
Porn star Sasha Grey was invited to read to first graders. This article is brought to you by the letter A, The number 2, and the letter M
FARK's Best Headlines of the Year
Re: FARK's Best Headlines of the Year
HahahahDog helps rape victim. Ehh, I might have worded that wrong